What is happening and what is not happening?
Oh, not much. The usual.
I am eating almonds, being out of blueberries.
As a substitute food, the almond does its best, but it leaves a residue of particles in my teeth and gums.
Do not eat almonds immediately before playing a reed instrument!
One upcoming time period during which I will most certainly not be eating almonds, begins at approximately
9PM, Wednesday, July 12 (we begin playing a little thereafter, but I want to be prepared),
and the place at which I will not be eating almonds is:
The Ivy Room, 860 San Pablo Avenue
and the cross-street at which I will be minding my own business, not eating almonds, will be:
Solano Avenue, along the northern border between Berkeley and Albany.
Also not eating almonds at the same time and place, as an expression of brotherhood and solidarity, and because they also play the saxophone, will be:
Aaron Bennett, Cory Wright and Michael Zelner.
However, those playing string instruments and keyboards, all thrown together, like nuts in a jar:
John Finkbeiner, Steve Lew, Lynn Murdock, John Shiurba
and those who idly thump upon jar-like instruments:
John Hanes, Jason Levis, and Suki O'Kane
can, if they wish, eat almonds, but not huge handfuls of them because no one wants to see a
Piggish Rhythm Section!
What people do want to see is a lot more bees, because a healthy almond crop depends upon healthy bees.
And we are called collectively New Zombies, which, if you close your eyes and just listen to the name of us, sure sounds like we are some sort of bees. So thereby a connection has been established between who we are and
what is significant to those who love almonds as much as I do, critical as I am of their pitfalls as a snack.
At the same time, I am thinking that it would be a bad idea for
Val Esway and Mantra Plonsey
to be eating almonds, because they will be singing with us on two songs, as we gradually transform into
an enormously popular band
due to having such sweet and powerful singers singing about such things as:
school as an institution whose role is to produce a compliant workforce
and the idiocy of using bricklaying as metaphor for writing, unless on some level, we are encouraging the
more traditional political use of bricks
(e.g., the reintroduction of bricks into, say, Wells Fargo)
Hoping to see you!
(I recently made additions and corrections to this email list, so please let me know if I'm not using a good email for you, or if in fact no email is a good email for you because any of the following 13 conditions hold:
1) you are tired of getting email
2) you are tired of music because it inevitably is preceded and followed by email
3) you are tired of electrons, which you think of as those "things that go running around" -- as once did ponies --to mindlessly deliver email messages
3a) you never really liked ponies either, because of the excessive clop-clopping
3ai) for which reason you also dislike coconuts
4) you feel that the recent discovery of baryons composed of two charm quarks and one up quark leads inevitably to the rejection of many of the established forms of merriment and diversion, which, as Adam Smith so blithely put it, seldom occur without "conversation end[ing] in a conspiracy against the public, or in some contrivance to raise prices"
4a) you feel that news that these new baryons "fall apart after somewhere between 50 millionths of a billionth of a second and 1,000 millionths of a billionth of a second" means that they "seriously overstay their welcome" and "are boring" and, at 4 times the weight of a proton, "big bullies"
4ai) you feel I should have said "3.8 times" rather than "4 times," because the choice of an integer over a decimal amounts to "numberism" on my part and now you're super mad
4aii) you also think that I should have numbered these conditions "less stupidly"
5) you are making plans to visit the Large Hadron Collider -- not that you know where it is -- because you intend to tell those CERN physicists "what they really should do with Collider, which isn't actually all that large; [you] would have built something much bigger," because just because you know pretty much nothing about physics, it doesn't mean that you don't have some good ideas
6) after getting hit on the head by a vase made of some of those big ol' baryons you're experiencing amnesia, 4 -- no, 3.8 -- times as bad as standard amnesia, and thus have forgotten both that New Zombies with Aaron Bennett, Val Esway, John Finkbeiner, John Hanes, Jason Levis, Steve Lew, Lynn Murdock, Suki O'Kane, Dan Plonsey, Mantra Plonsey, John Shiurba, Cory Wright, and Michael Zelner will play Wednesday (tomorrow, July 12, 2017) at 9:30, at the Ivy Room, 860 San Pablo Ave (at Solano) -- and the purpose of this message, plus 1.8 other things which you can't remember either -- oh, I guess that was one of them so now we're down to just 0.8
7) I was going to say "other reasons" but I'm quite certain that by now I've covered all the bases. And given that all the bases are literally all covered on Wednesday -- by tarps, that is, it being the last day of the All-Star Break -- you can't say say:
8) you are "going to a baseball game"
9) because, as we have established, you aren't
10) since it isn't physically possible for you to do so
11) unless of course it's a non-MLB game, like maybe your kids are playing with some other kids in the park
12) but really: at 9:30 PM?
12a) On a weeknight??
12ai) although it is summer, so: no school tomorrow
12aii) but still:
13) I don't think so!)
Hoping to see you tomorrow night!