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Wise King Taken by the Foolish Oneessay no. 23 Performance InstructionsDan Plonsey Keywords: Gary Schickler, the danger of dangerousness, subtitle, alternative tunings.
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"Now everyone really tune this section, (love this section,): listen, and allow yourself to think any thought, and be lost in it, let yourself go from beside, besides, let go of everything you think you need to, ought to, and all that you don't, hold onto, hold onto, that is. And just see what, what ever comes to mind, whatever it is, and whatever it was meant to be, and whatever, it was/is, just play. Sorry if those excessive commas were too much, rorry, I mean, really sorry, that being how I, say it. It, I mean. Uh-huh. I mean, I think we're finished here, for the time being."
-- Budward leCohan
Subtitle:
who any of you are trying to be
that is
what type
at what (print it, I mean, point in) time
at what age...
Are you the original, or some late/recent parody (incomplete, uncertain,
unprepared), or are you a common mistake, an accountable error (a wrong
number), or, lastly - last possibility: You don't know at all and you're
trying to do it all on the basis of some esthetic you don't fully identify
with, can't really do, never found the time to explore partly because
all of the energy you can spare from the essentials is devoted to "just
trying to hold it together," no energy beyond that, can't afford to risk any
possibility of mistake, over-statement, wrong turn, inaccurate expansion;
afraid even to consider the possibility of committing a brutality
(brutality
to language, or to a state of mind, or to the body of one who is
"unknown" and "innocent" at least from their point of view) in the service
of discovery, adventure, art, etc., knowing that one may recover from
brutality: it's not the end of the world (yet), or is it?
(Reflect upon the situation in Israel at this point:
Both sides have had to determine what limits of
brutality they can allow themselves, and accept from their enemy. And while
some may be able to consider the option of brutality
while deliberately ignoring their awareness of the reality which
brutal acts are for victims (who someday will no longer be "unknown," and
whose "innocence" is no longer presumed: with time, all the dead become
innocent: forgiveness is granted the worst "sinner" eventually).) So, if it's
worth it to you, you can behave perfectly abominably if it suits... And one's
expectations of one's foes drop correspondingly: the worse you see yourself
is the direct cause of the worse you see of the other...
You see both very, very badly indeed, and the pitch of your voice rises and
becomes correspondingly shrill, anxious, angry, impatient, with yourself,
yes, and with your kids, also yes, with those you love as well as with those
you hate, and, precisely because of their proximity to you, reliance upon
you, even, love of you, much more susceptible to your ill mood,
illin', fillin', villain, good villain, third murderer, Gary Anyone, not to
slight Gary Indiana or Gary Schickler, a tenor saxophonist who was in 10th
grade when I was in 12th, or maybe he was even 9th? who was big and
good-natured, though I think mildly annoying in some way to Bob Chaikin, who
is rather impatient, though with a sense of humor about it. These guys had a
dark side before it was possible to have one, that is, to acknowledge and
actually celebrate it, as so many have done over the last decade or
two, so we haven't exactly come out and talked
about it, but we've talked much more evocatively and satisfyingly by simply
talking baseball, talking about Dave Kingman, or basketball, where
Bob's admiration and contempt rose together (as is not unusual
for him, given his black sense of humor) to make a beautiful
acknowledgment of the wondrousness of
late-career Cav, World B. Free. Man, what is that guy
doing? Selling cars? Fixing toasters? Relaxing in Florida, not doing much
of anything? Is this where a World B. Free is slated to be, ultimately,
wearing that pale lemon yellow pressed pant they wear?
But - Gary, who was loyal to me in a weird way
that I didn't fully appreciate until later, that may or may not be part
of a tragic
story, and incomplete, as I fancy myself saying to Del Unser, Ted Uhlander...
Anyway, I am categorizing you more than tentatively as one for whom, if you are none of the above, it can be said that for you reality reels about, you're trying to get a handle on it, or at least constrain its undulations, desiring as you do, something secure and solid and still. So: you choose to do or not do things on the basis of how sane they make you feel, but it's tricky because, you can't choose too straight, it would feel like a parody, and you can't be too out, either, for fear of where you might be taken, but worst of all, you can't be you, because you are alone, in a tiny room, in isolation: you are a prisoner of yourself, "you" being distinct, different from "yourself," "yourself" being quite possibly very dangerous. And in these times, it is especially dangerous to be dangerous. "You" must keep a little distance from the motives of "yourself." Lack of distance brings about dread and fear (dread being the fear of fear), but fortunately, you can employ this fear to drive a wedge between you and yourself. Although...
-- Dan Plonsey, December 2001,
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