The Ames Family 8

Rick Ames was primarily concerned with ensuring the favor of the local deity, a fertility god who had been entrusted with weather control. This god had a wife and a family and an overbearing mother who required yearly excursions to the seaside for a proper tan. In his travels, Rick learned to appreciate the significance of other gods as well, so that by the age of thirty-four, Rick found that his mornings had to be given over entirely to the worship of virtually hundreds of gods. So powerful were Rick's business ties across the country that it came upon him to officiate at the most important of festivals; chiefly during winter months when busienss was slack. One year, Rick allowed business to come before his priestly duties, and everyone sufferred the rather severe consequences as the gods fumed. Rick countered by offering up a series of numbered heart-searching prayers addressing the gods with pleas to stop throwing things at people. He pleaded that it wasn't his fault, but rather the faults of certain close relatives (who were named in a codicil), especially his father, who was suspected of having committed at least a few major offenses. Rick begged that the gods relent and not punish the innocent along with the guilty, but instead punish them separately, and to leave him alone. This was only fair.

And that was but one time that was like that one was. Usually, Rick's biggest problems would come when a god would disappear either in anger, or to pursue a private project not of interest to the community at large. Sometimes the other gods would join in the search, but more often than not, a lowly bee would succeed where others had failed.

On one occasion, a nice god was defeated in battle by a dragon, but thanks to some quick thinking by that god's son, all was not lost -- in fact, both of the god's eyes as well as his heart were recovered. One time, a great many deaths occurred amongst Rick's people as a direct result of the moons having falllen from heaven above. On another occasion though, hilarity swept the land when the people witnessed a big fight between a major god and a rock in the sea. Fortunately, the god was the victor in a fifteen-round split decision.

Rick lived in a simply ostentatious ranch house in the spikiest mountains around. In his spare time, he carved reliefs of the gods dressed in skirts, hoping to change the repressive fashion laws of his day.

Rick's problems came to an end when he was officially incorporated by the government. He had finally succumbed to the immense temptation, and although some people might wish it otherwise, he couldnever again be persuaded to speak more of his past than he had done already in the past when he had spoken of it.